Please excuse my child's behaviour she's tired/hungry/teething*.......😐 *delete as appropriate


Since having the three mahoods I've begun to notice that I repeat myself A LOT. Usually it's a broken record on repeat to the mahoods with such all time classics as 'Get down from there!', 'Mammy said No!', 'Give that back to your sister' and 'In a minute!' There are also the bonus 'mimed' tracks, 'Shut the fuuuuccckkkk up!' And 'FML!!' In the deluxe edition you will also find some dedicated to himself, 'Stop putting non food items in the brown bin!' and 'Wake up its your turn with the baby!' Just like the cheeky girls no one wants to hear it but it gets stuck in your head. Before I became a mammy I expected most of these things to come out of my mouth at some point, because my mother said them to me and her mother said them to her and so on. It's like being passed the Olympic torch of motherhood! It's my legacy! But there are other things I've noticed since I've become a mammy that I never expected and it's not just me whose saying them, we're all at it! 
For example, the big girl, being a big 3, doesn't always nap these days and her words may say I don't need a sleep mammy but the near constant whinging tells me a different story! So if we have to venture anywhere or have contact with anyone on a day when there hasn't been a wink slept I find myself saying "Someone didn't have a sleep today!"(add eye roll for effect). 
Or the wee girl, who is usually very even tempered, might start her high pitched squealing in company. She's like her daddy and doesn't cope well with hunger so you will probably/definitely hear me say "She's hungry!"(add eye roll for effect)
Or the baby, who is really a great article altogether might cry (heaven forbid!!) or be a bit fussier than usual and I will automatically say, "Her teeth are driving her mad!"(add eye roll for effect)
I only really thought about all this recently when my friend came around to visit and brought her oldest child with her who is close in age with the big girl. We chatted while the children all played/fought over toys and had us tortured to go outside and blow bubbles (WHAT is the obsession!?!?!). She mentioned then that her wee boy actually says to her now when he misbehaves "It's cause I'm tired mammy!" and we both laughed/acted horrified in the appropriate measures. 
I was laughing with my sister after it about what she'd said and how the mahoods don't miss a trick and she said that her oldest who is 3 is at the same thing! Using the get out of jail free card that is 'Im tired!' for any and all incidents. (To be fair the child could well be tired walking around their humungous house! She prob just took a stroll from the east to the west wing!😜)
Then I really thought about how much I do it and hear other people do it! And I noticed it's not just mammies who are it! 
Took the baby to the doctors last week because she had a bad cough and a high temperature and her cousin had croup(mountains and molehills anyone?) and the doc did the usual it's not sounding like croup but that's not to say that she might not get worse and if she does come back.....😴Then he said and she's probably teething too is she? Sweet and gentle Jesus even the health professionals are at it.
Led me to thinking, where/when will I draw the line....
Sorry teacher that my daughter broke the rules but you see she was up early that day and hadn't napped.....
Sorry daughters boss that she was cheeky to a customer but you see she hadn't had lunch and was hungry.......
Sorry your Honour, that my daughter robbed that bank, you see she's getting her wisdom teeth.....
Hopefully I might draw the line somewhere before then.....😳
I'm feeling slightly tired and hungry here myself so you can all eff off!!!I'm away to get some 'Mammy's medicine'.....

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